Has someone said this to you? It probably means you have that “peacefully enlightened” vibe, a relaxing demeanor, and maybe a comforting voice. But if you’re really toying with entering the meditation field, you will need to use phrases (ad nauseam!) that could literally make your friends lose their ever-loving mind(fulness).
Nevertheless, if you’re still curious about becoming one, here is a resume of the 8 most important qualities needed to be a Guided Meditation Leader:
- The ability to direct people (in a slow cadence, dripping with honey) to let themselves “Arrive,” ignoring the fact that they are actually already there, sitting in a real upholstered chair, listening to your droning voice. Yes, this ceremonial act of Arrival is extremely important, so execute it with pronounced enunciation.
- Able to conduct Individual Intention Settings. It’s crucial that anyone who is about to listen to your guided meditation first set their intention. Warning: A few smart alecs will state, “My intention is not to set any intentions.” Ignore them and do an Intention Intervention instead.
- Must possess creativity to command your listeners to breathe-in a large variety of different things. (Although seriously, when did plain old air become such a scarce commodity?) Make certain they’re breathing in something they might potentially want to embody (being mindful not to choke them by telling them to inhale a new Mercedes!) and then direct them to breathe out something else entirely different (preferably something you think they might want to rid their life of. (But if they are listening with their children, avoid telling telling them to exhale their ex-spouse!) And then tell them to do it all over again. Sixty. Three. Dang. Times.
- Be adept at issuing reminders. You’ll want to regularly remind them to notice lots of body parts. “Notice your arms, notice your hands, notice your fingers, notice your ear-lobes (always a fun one!) notice ankles, knees, calves, thighs, etc.” If they start to notice another participant’s feet, they might have a fetish and you should gently guide them back to a state of complete relaxation.
- Should have strong observation skills in the area of respiration (you may think the act of observing is similar to the act of noticing, but shame on you — it’s incredibly different!) Say things like, “Observe how your breath flows in and out. Make no effort to change your breathing in any way, simply Observe how your body breathes. Your own body can Observe how much air it needs. Observe in your mind’s eye, your breath flowing gently in and out of your body.”
- Able to Help Someone Conjure Up a Meadow. This is self-explanatory, but having a vast knowledge of classic Crayola crayons is useful here. The water is Turquoise Blue, Aquamarine, Periwinkle, but most likely it’s always Cerulean, while the grass is either Pine Green, Forest Green or Fern. Remind them there’s no need to color inside the lines in their mind’s eye! Freedom.
- Must Be a Thought Killer. Approach this one gingerly. You can’t let them know you’re straight out of George Orwell’s novel, 1984 with “The Thought Police” so say things thusly — “When your attention wanders, as it will, just focus gently back again on your breathing. Notice any stray thoughts, but don’t dwell on them. Simply let all your thoughts peacefully pass away.”
- Ability to Self-Soothe. When you suddenly find yourself out of a guided meditation job because Spire has just made the exciting announcement that they’re releasing meditation timers (5, 10, 15, 30, and 60 minutes!) which will be set to some wonderfully calming music so that meditation will be far easier for everyone!
Reconsidering your new career as a meditation leader? Good news, you don’t have to be a guru to use Spire meditation timers.
To use Meditation Timers:
- Open your Spire app.
- Go to the ‘Boosts” screen.
- Pull down to refresh the screen.
- Tap Meditation Timers.
- Download the length you’d like.
Don’t have Spire yet? Learn more and order yours at spire.io.