Breathy & Sexy: Mindful Breathing Can Improve Your Relationship!

Anyone who knows the famous scene with Meg Ryan in the restaurant from the movie When Harry Met Sally realizes that a certain style of respiration plays a significant role in most bedroom fun. In fact, you only need be on the receiving end of an old-fashioned obscene phone call to know the exact drill of hot and heavy breathing. But guess what? Most everyone is getting it wrong!

But first let’s take a look at certain phrases authors tend to use when describing breathing in their evocative sexual passages:

  • Breathless urgent gasps
  • Air was forced from her lungs
  • Caught in her throat
  • Fast, hard and furious respiration
  • Fought for more oxygen
  • Halted and uneven gulps of air
  • Harsh rush of his breath on her shoulders
  • In fits and starts
  • Heaving her bosoms
  • Punctuated quickening of inhalations
  • Shuddering in breaths of gasping completion
  • Short little spurts, spasms, and sighs
  • Panting, puffing breaths
  • Desperate uneven rhythms
  • Erratic huffs rocketed through her chest

Now this is not to say we’re looking at great literature here but do you notice something in common? Everyone is in a hurry! It may seem counter intuitive to slow down and not take those excited short, shallow mouth gasps we see in the movies or read in our romance novels. During my own experimentation, I finally figured out the sexual benefits of leisurely, deep abdominal breathing through the nose. Increased blood flow and circulation is another side payoff of this technique because this will further heighten and intensify all of your sensations when you do finally reach climax.

Have you ever had a cold or allergy attack and been forced to breathe through your mouth? First of all it’s exhausting, but more importantly you feel sluggish and dull because you’re depriving all the nerve centers in your brain from receiving enough oxygen. It’s the same idea during sexual arousal and orgasm – – you are literally preventing those delicious sensations of sexual pleasure from transmitting to your brain which is your largest sex organ.

For some great visuals and a fun musical metaphor, watch one of my favorite videos (RIGHT HERE!) on this subject. What have you got to lose by trying something different? And soon you may be that certain individual everyone’s pointing at while uttering an envious, “Mmmm, I’ll have what she’s having!”

Update July 2015: We have just released free email courses on being more mindful and productive, sleeping better, and reducing anxiety. Check them out at

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Spire is dedicated to helping you live a happier, healthier lifestyle with an easy-to-use device for mindful breathing techniques. Learn more about the benefits of breath-tracking at


Anxiety, Body & Mind

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